Fear of Dependence

8 Apr

How can we NOT depend on the God who made all THIS? (View from point where I fell off the horse.)

We just had the most wonderful week vacationing with our son, Steve, his wife, Hannah, and their girls (and our grandgirls), Shaye and Kayden.  For all of us, the highlight was horseback riding up the largest active volcano in the Andes Mountains, referred to in these parts as Mama Tungurahua.  We saw orchids hanging by the side of the path, a Dragonblood Tree, whose sap looks like blood and is an incredible healing agent, a naturally carbonated spring, and more marvels than I can list.

My horse did not like going downhill, mud, or puddles.  We were headed downhill toward the barn when he kicked back in a little tantrum to let me know he was not enjoying going downhill. I went flying, landed on my shoulder, and three hospitals later we found one with an x-ray machine that determined that my clavicle was broken.  Once I was admitted to a 4th hospital that did surgery, I realized how I was rubbed the wrong way by having to depend on others for EVERYTHING.  Although Mike so sweetly cared for me, my independent spirit kept rebelling, responding internally with an often inappropriate “I can do it by myself.”  I’m so grateful for all the care he gave and is giving me; I could even laugh when he zipped my stomach in the zipper of my jeans, but I am uncomfortable with dependence.

The question is, am I the same way with God?  Am I uncomfortable depending on Him?  Do I want to do it myself?  This week, I’m asking God to show me how much my independent spirit interferes with an intimate relationship where I receive all He has for me.  How is your level of comfort with dependence?

But he who practices truth [who does what is right] comes out into the Light; so that his works may be plainly shown to be what they are–wrought with God [divinely prompted, done with God’s help, in dependence upon Him]. John 3:21

One Response to “Fear of Dependence”

  1. Rakitia April 8, 2012 at 10:51 am #

    Very powerful!

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