Fear of Not Changing

15 Sep

The wood, hay, and stubble of self are so close, and living the crucified life seems so far away

I was thinking this morning that this whole “series” of posts on self have really been on the fear of not changing.  Not growing.  I’ve been grappling with this, and I’m sure I’m not alone.

I have been crucified with Christ [in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; it is no longer I who live, but Christ (the Messiah) lives in me; and the life I now live in the body I live by faith in (by adherence to and reliance on and complete trust in) the Son of God, Who loved me and gave Himself up for me. Gal. 2:20 (Amplified)

Andrew Murray discusses the reality that I’m grappling with.  Do you ever feel your “self” elbowing its way into the forefront?  My “self” has been disgusting lately.  The battleground has been at my school.  I have been so aggravated with students, work load, and even some co-workers.  I know this sounds dramatic, but in some ways I feel like a grand battle is being played out on a very small battlefield.  I’m going to paraphrase what Andrew Murray says here:

1.  First we must know the truth in Galatians 2:20.  We must know have died to sin.

2.  We must accept this truth in faith.  “And what then?  When he accepts it in faith, then there comes in him a struggle, and a painful experience, for that faith is still very feeble, and he begins to ask, “But why, if I am dead to sin, do I commit so much sin?”

3.  We must accept the answer to the question, which is simply this, “We do not allow the power of that death to be applied by the Holy Spirit.”  This begs the question, “How?”  We’ll take a look at that in a few days.  Do you ever feel like hollering out, “Easier said than done!”

One Response to “Fear of Not Changing”

  1. Ulla Eklund April 7, 2012 at 12:08 pm #

    Hi Susan,

    I was thinking about things in my life: the older I become, I see more clearly that it really is not question of me or my resources or goodness or excellency of doing something. God is so interested of our heart and our motives and I can see that only motive that works concerning everything is God’s Grace. I find myself more and more in situations where I see no other alternative. I just don’t want to do things if I don’t have Grace motivation. Then I am also trying to learn to be quiet in the situations, not to react instantly. Not to listen my sin nature and it’s quick answers to things. It’s not easy, flesh is always so alive. But that idea of speaking truth to our own souls is good. Truth brings rest in our lifes.

    As you see I use many “I” words, but I think it also has to be that way because we have to think with God. There is Jesus and I. I am a desperate, hopeless one but the victory is in Jesus and trusting him and letting him to live in us.

    Thank you so much for this blog. I have just found it but I love it.

    Your sister in Christ

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